SOMETHING ABOUT HER

by - Suaine

TITLE:	SOMETHING ABOUT HER
AUTHOR:	Suaine
DISCLAIMER:	I don't own anything except my TV (wait, my parents have it now, go back to nothing ;) and the computer I'm writing my stories on, everything else (that matters anyway) belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
DISTRIBUTION:	Sure, just let me know.
RATING:	PG? how should I know? But really nothing you wouldn't see on the show.
SPOILERS:	Anything up to and including "The Gift" is fair game.
FEEDBACK:	Oh, yesss... please.
DEDICATION:	Dedication: To my brother. He is my world, I couldn't live in it without him. I would go through hell and back for him, and thank god every day that he doesn'T know that. To the gals at OGD for their feedback and kindness.

PART ONE

She was falling. The searing pain inside of her was finally breaking to the surface. She couldn't scream, still the agony expressed itself in her eyes. And the worst thing was, she didn't want it to stop. For the pain was her only thread to life. She clung to the burning sensation with all her might, knowing it was too late.

She was falling for a long time. Her body had hit the ground eons ago, but her soul was stil trapped within this world of emotion. The endless universe stretched in front of her, just out of reach. With every second, every hour, with all eternity she had, the thought of leaving caused her more suffering. She didn't want to go.

Something pulled her deeper, ever so close to completely dissolving into infinity. Her mind ached for it, but her heart, the heart of a slayer, fought this urge with inhuman resolution. Still too much she had to do, too many things she was sorry for. The struggle, inside and around her, blacked out her conscious and she slipped away to a dark and empty place.

When she woke, it was to the voice of a beautiful girl. She was chanting in a language Buffy didn't know. Her blue eyes sparkled, not from the magical energy that was all around her, but from the tears in her eyes. The memories hit her like a sledge hammer. The girl had been there when she took the first step to this never-ending torture... She'd been the one Buffy had wanted to save.

"Who are you?" Buffy asked the small girl.

At her words the girl turned away to hide her trembling bottom lip. Somehow that question had touched something deep below the surface of this angelic face. For some reason, the slayer couldn't stand to see her cry. It shook her deep down, where nothing had touched her for so long. She moved towards the crying girl, trying to remember more.

The girl resumed chanting, as if her life depended on it.

"Brigit
Guttin der Erde
Mutter aller Menschen
Beschtzerin des Lebens
Bring uns zurck was Tod uns nahm
Sende deine strkste Kriegerin
zurck zu uns
Ich flehe dich an
Gib mir meine Schwester zurck"

With that last phrase Buffy suddenly knew what all of this was about. She knew and remembered, and all she could do was watch her sister die, right here in front of her. The small girl disappeared in a flash of light. Her screams could be heard long after. Buffy thought she would never forget them.

A voice entered her mind, blocking out everything else. "You will go back. You will do as we say. You will serve our purpose. You're the slayer, nothing but our tool." All her memories were back again, she knew about her sister just to feel the loss even more. She knelt down where her sister had stood moments ago and started crying hard." Dawn. I love you." Her vision went blank and then the world around her came crashing down.

* * *

He paced his crypt, his hands clenched behind his back. He hadn't bothered to undress last night and therefore he still wore his duster and the black boots. Something was off, terribly off, he could feel it. It was like the humming of electrical appliances at night, or the low buzz of crickets chirping. It was all in his head.

For almost a year he had loved the slayer. All he could think about was how to please her, the touch of her golden skin and the sparkle in her eyes. He still couldn't believe, or accept, that he wasn't going to see her again, ever. There must be a way.

He smiled thinking about the last "effort" of his. Building a robot of Buffy wasn't exactly the brightest idea he'd ever had. Too bad it was destroyed now. Not that it would make any difference. After all, she was nothing like the real Buffy.

And there it was again. When his thoughts came back to her, an icy feeling covered his spine, alomst as if the temperature in his crypt dropped about twenty degrees. It had to do with Buffy. But what was it?  There was a Scooby meeting this afternoon. He stopped dead in his track. "What the bloody hell?" He shook his head in disbelief. Where had that thought come from?

The Scoobies had made it quite clear they did absolutely not want him around. Will had threatened to light him up like a candle with her magic if he would come close enough for her to look at him. Buffy's watcher had this deadly sparkle in his eyes, sent bolts of ice through Spike's veins. He wasn't about to argue with the lot. He wasn't that suicidal. The question was, how did he know about the meeting? It's not like he still kept around, after that thing with Buffy...

He took up pacing again. Outside the sun was close to reach the highest point. It was almost twelve o'clock. The meeting was going to be in about three hours. What made him all wiggly about this? Why couldn't he just forget about those stupid kids and enjoy Passions?

Because he needed to be there.Hell, why would he want to be at that bloody meeting? Not like there was going to be anything important. The creepy feeling wouldn't let go of him. For some reason he knew that it was about Buffy. He wondered what could possibly have happened. He was curious. That's all, just curious.

Without another thought he stormed out of his crypt. Something was up and he was going to find out what. There was no point in going back to sleep anyway."AHHH... BLOODY, DAMN. ARGH!" He came running back into his hideout. His skin sizzled and small clouds ofsmoke rose from his exposed body parts." Screw Sunnydale. Sun has to be up every day in bleeding California." He grabbed his blanket for protection and left. The crypt fell silent, it's peace only broken by loud curses coming from its inhabitant.

* * *

Giles looked up from his book at the opening door. Not to his surprise he saw Xander and Anya standing there. The young man always dropped by to visit his fiancee before or after work. He greeted them with a nod and returned his attention to the book in front of him.

"So, what's up?" Xander asked, with the annoyingly cheerful tone he gets when he's bored.Giles frowned,

"Nothing really. Did something happen I wasn't aware of?"

Xander just shrugged in response. It had been way too quiet lately. Something was coming, they could all sense it. It was only a matter of time till everything hit the fan. Demons don't just take a break from being evil, but it seemed like they did just that in the last month or so.

"Hey guys, what kind of apocalyptic, demony event do we have to prevent today?" asked Willow, who just came in the door, Tara at her side.

"None at all," came Xander's not-so-cheerful answer.

Willow dropped herself on a chair, pouting in a childlike manner. She looked at Tara who seemed to be quite a bit disappointed herself. They could have gone to that Wicca workshop in LA, but instead they were here for no reason whatsoever.The Magic Box was filled with an uncomfortable silence. The Scoobies waited for something, a justification for their presence at this afternoon. It was almost three when the last member of their group stormed through the door.

"Hi guys!" she called out to them before she even closed the door. At seeing their faces, she frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Why are you so happy?" Xander asked in return.

Willow sprang to the chase. "Yeah, you finally came around to killing Spike?"

Buffy grinned. "No, he's still undead. Hasn't shown his stupid face lately."

"Can't say I miss him," Xander muttered.

The slayer flashed her best friend a radiant smile. "I agree with you there. The only thing better than a Spike that's not around is a dusty Spike."

The group continued their Spike bashing session for a lack of better things to do. No monsters, no things they could research, the summer was getting to them. In one or two weeks they would probably be ready to go out and kill Spike just for giggles.Giles joined the group, coming back from his stack of old, dusty books. "Actually, it's quite disturbing that he hasn't shown up lately. After his obsession with you... he even built a robot to -"

"Giles!" Buffy interrupted her watcher, "Please, we don't need to talk about icky stuff. We're all bored, but not THAT far gone."

"He does have a point," Willow jumped in. The looks she got from the whole group made her blush. "Not with the robot, but Spike has been around all the time, even after what happened to his bot. And suddenly he's gone, none of us see him around, not even on patrol. Doesn't that strike you as strange?"

Buffy's face darkened, she tried a last time, "Maybe he just got the hint and left town... forget it."

"Something is wrong."

All Scoobies looked at Tara who had broken her usual silence."What do you mean, honey?" Willow inquired.

"She's right." The familiar voice came from the door of the Magic Box. All their heads snapped in his direction. Six pairs of eyes threw icy glares in his direction.

Xander was the first to speak, his voice dripping with disgust. "Ah, we were just talking about driving a stake through your heart. Wanna give us a visual?"

He prepared for a come back when Buffy interrupted his thoughts. Her voice was calm, absolutely indifferent. "As much as I would enjoy Xander's proposition... why are you here?"

For a moment he didn't know how to respond. He could handle hatred, indifference was something else. Why was she so void of all emotions towards him?

"This is not supposed to be."

Everyone stared at Anya, who hadn't said a word before now. Her eyes were focused on something shiny she held in her palm.

* * *

Xander held Anya's hand tight. Her other hand still played absently with the earring. "I could swear I lost them."

"Anh, that's impossible. You wore these earrings every day last week."

Under the glances of her friends she gave in. "It's probably nothing, just a feeling I keep getting."

Buffy sighed, "Now that that's out of the way," she turned to Spike, "Why are you here?"

"You tell me!" he answered with a smirk on his lips.

Wrong thing to do with a bored slayer, especially if you're on top of her list of things to kill. She pressed her lips together and her nostrils flared as she took a deep breath."I don't need your funny little comments. You should be happy that you can still walk around saying anything. I mean, chaining me up in the same room with Dru trying to make me admit my love for you was sick, building a robot that looks like me so it could shag you senseless was the grossest idea you ever had, and showing up here again just proves that you're stupid as hell. There's no reason I shouldn't have staked you, so be grateful you can still talk and answer my damn question." She hissed the last words, causing goose bumps on his skin.

She was mere inches apart from him, but the cold determination killed any fuzzy feelings he might have had. He took a step back to evade her arm in which a stake had appeared out of nowhere. The suicidal, crazy part of his brain wondered where she hid those stakes when she wore tight jeans and a even tighter tank top.

"You're right," he said with a challenge in his tone.

"What?" Buffy asked exasperated. To his satisfaction she dropped the stake a few inches.

"You should have staked me. After all I've done, after all I put you through, there was no reason for you to let me live. So why didn't you kill me?" He had come closer again. The stake in her hand now dangerously close to his midsection.

"Something about you being impotent I suppose," Xander answered in a fake sweet voice.Vampire and slayer both glared at the construction worker. He decided that this would be a good time to give Anya his full attention. Spike continued to point out what had bothered him the whole morning.

"To answer your question, I have no idea why I am here. It's not like something big was going on."

"He's quite right. This is a good a time as any, so I will ask you: Why are any of you here?" The Scoobies just looked puzzled. To tell the truth, none of them really had a reason to be there, except Anya.

"Yeah," Buffy continued the thought, "C'mon, Xander, you should be at work. And I remember that you told me about this cool Wicca workshop, Willow.

"The vampire wasn't happy that the conversation slipped out of his control. He touched Buffy's shoulder lightly, trying to get her attention. She spun around and punched him in the face without thinking. He landed flat on his butt."Don't EVER touch me again," she hissed.His eyes widened in shock. "I... I didn't mean to..."

"Yeah right, like you didn't know what your hand was doing," Xander threw in.Spike composed himself. "No, that's not the point. I didn't think about it at all, it seemed the normal thing to do." He got up, dusted himself off and dropped all his defenses. He just stood there, all vulnerable, giving Buffy the perfect opportunity to kill him. For a moment she contemplated to do just that. Then she dropped her hand.

"What is going on?" she asked, her voice one of resignation.

He looked from her to the Scoobies and back at her. "I don't have answers, but I have three questions you should think about. First, how do I know that you'd all be here?"

Buffy answered annoyed, "Where else would we be?"

He smiled and counted down with his fingers. "Construction site. Wicca workshop. Job interview."

"I might be repeating myself, but he has a point," came Willow's comment.

"Okay, second, why are we all here?"

Willow was the one to burst out with her answer, "I thought it was important."

All around her nodded.

"So did I," the vampire said. His eyes met Buffy's as he asked the last question. "Third, why was there close to no demonic activity lately?"

"Well, it's summer. Somehow it's always quiet during that time." It had been Buffy's answer, but even to her it sounded strange.

"That's not what I mean. This is the hellmouth, place of apocalypses and terrible demons. Last year the worst thing you guys had to fear was ME, for Christ's sake. Drac, Harm, a few demons, a Troll god, robots, all is kid's stuff. And somehow that just doesn't seem to be nearly enough."

The slayer's eyes glazed over, "My mom, isn't that enough?"

His face softened. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and make her forget. "I'm sorry, pet."

Giles took off his glasses and started rubbing them clean. "As much as this must hurt, Buffy, it's not the end of the world. And Spike's right when he said that nothing's happened. For some reason I think we're missing something here."

Buffy swallowed her tears. She turned away from Spike to face her friends. Xander and Anya were occupied with each other, Willow met her gaze steadily, nodding. Tara seemed to be deep in thought. Before anyone could say something else Tara said one word and caused all of them to give her their full attention.

"Someone."

All of them knew what she meant. The whole time they'd been dancing around the one thing nobody was able to say. They were missing someone, waiting for that person to appear, not knowing who or what it was.

PART TWO

"I don't get it," Xander exclaimed exasperated, his gaze stil trained on the door of the Magic Box.

Willow didn't take her eyes off the computer screen. "Huh?"

"I don't get it," he repeated, looking at the witch now.

She flashed him a small smile and typed something on her keyboard. "We're all confused, but we will find out what's going on."

He tensed, "No, not that. I don't understand why she's taking him to her house. He should be dust; evil, soulless demon he is."

"Xander, you're just mad because you have to stay here and help Giles with the books. Besides, he was the one to find out about this ... whatever it is that's going on." While talking, her eyes scanned page after page on the net. So far she had come up with nothing.Xander shook his head. He got up and wandered over to the counter, pretending to be interested in Anya's bookkeeping activities. It was all he could do to keep himself from pacing the floor or running after the slayer and the vampire.

"You know, it still smells like burning vampire in here. Why can't he be more like one of those scented candles?"

Willow threw him a glance that could only be read as "shut up before you hurt yourself". "C'mon, Xander. You know she'll dust him when he tries anything. He can't hurt her."

Xander sighed heavily, "I know. It's just, I don't trust this guy. And I don't think she should either. Who knows, maybe he's done all this and tries to cover it up now... or, or maybe this is a trap...""Xander, you have no idea what you're talking about," this coming from Anya was surprising enough to make both of them focus on the ex-demon.

"Huh?" Xander inquired.

"This is obviously a memory spell, a complex one too." She still had the earrings lying in front of her, where she could see them.

"You think so?" Willow asked to make sure. Her hands already typed the new keywords into her search engine. She came up with three pages about memory spells. She clicked on the first.

"Yeah, I mean, all these feelings, everything seems off today, as if something was different but we don't remember."

Willow clicked on the second link and nodded simultaneously. "Hmm... this is odd..."Xander turned to his best friend. "What?"

Willow scanned over the page, not looking up at Xander. The background picture seemed familiar; it resembled a burning heart with wings and a symbol on the inside. Just now she processed Xander's question." Well, I've been searching for memory spells and I came up with this weird page about medieval stuff."

"Oh, princesses and kings?" Willow shook her head, already hitting the back button. "No more like creepy looking knights and weapons, no spells though." She sighed. Hopefully the last page was going to give them a clue." All right!" Willow exclaimed. Xander threw her a startled glance. She grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "Can't a girl be excited when things go right for once?"

"So you found something?"

Willow smiled, "Yeah, listen to this: "Memory spells and how to recognize them. A memory spell is a very complex and one of the most powerful ways of using magic. Only sacred circles such as Wicca circles and groups of monks have been known to accomplish them. These spells are used to cover up certain events and alter history. Under such a spell everything seems as if it was that way from the beginning, it is impossible to find out if you're under such an influence. The only exception is for magical creatures, demons, mentally challenged humans, and in the close proximity of portals to other worlds." I think we hit the jackpot."

Anya looked at them with an expression of 'Duh'on her face. "I told you it was a memory spell."

* * *

"So, you going to invite me in?" Spike asked with a smirk on his face and anticipation in his heart.Buffy glared at him. "Don't think it changes anything, I still hate you." Then, almost as an afterthought, she added, "Come in, Spike." Her voice also implied 'try something and I'll introduce you to Mr. Pointy'.

He shuddered; if it was possible her hostility was even worse than before. He swallowed hard, the grin disappearing from his face. "Hmm... Do you feel anything strange?"

"Except for you?" she hissed. "Nah," she added, "Everything's the same as it was yesterday and the day before." Truth be told, that was only half right. The house felt empty, and not just because her Mom was gone. She missed something, but couldn't quite place it. She strolled to the living room, picking up a picture. Her Mom was on it, obviously having a good time with Buffy. She couldn't hold back tears at the sight.

Spike noticed Buffy staring at the picture, her eyes filling with tears. His heart broke at the sight and he cursed himself for being such a slayer-whipped puppy. Awkwardly, he walked over to her, reaching out a comforting hand. She sensed him and spun around, her face stained from tears but flustered with anger. "Don't touch me!" she pressed out between clenched teeth. She had let her defenses slip and was more angry at herself than at Spike. The only thing she needed was someone to blame and who was a better punching bag than Spike?

He glared at her, biting back a sarcastic comment. He knew her pain, understood exactly what she was going through. He forced himself to calm down. "I'm sorry. I know you miss her." He referred to the picture.

It was all she could do not to laugh out loud. Didn't he understand? It wasn't about her Mom, it was the empty space between mother and daughter. As if something was supposed to take that place. She wanted to scream at him, wanted to hit him with all the hidden anger, wanted to let go, but in the same moment she knew she couldn't. She was the slayer, she was supposed to be strong.

He cringed as the mask of indifference was put back in place. He had seen the real Buffy, the troubled girl inside the iron shell. She would probably make him pay for that. "Let's go and check upstairs, maybe we can find something there," she uttered calmly. It sent shivers of fear down his spine, not so much for his own life, but her sanity.

They went up the stairs in silence. He watched her back and wondered how it must be to touch the delicate skin below the blue shirt. How it would be to make her shiver and scream his name in pleasure... He shook his head violently. Not going to happen, mate. Might as well get used to it. She said something to him, but his mind was suddenly blank. He stared at the door in front of his face and couldn't speak or move. When she focused her full attention on him, he regained his composure enough to speak. "What's in this room?"

She looked startled. "Why, just a room full of old stuff and boxes, we never used it."

He didn't take his gaze off the door when he said the next words, "Buffy, open this door, we'll find the answers inside."

Just when she was about to comply the phone rang. She ran down the stairs, with an absolutely composed voice she answered, "Hello?" Spike listened in on both ends of the conversation due to his vampire hearing.

"Hey, it's me, Willow. Me and Xander have found something that might help us.

The slayer interrupted her friend. "Can you and Tara come over here? Spike and me found something too, and we might need your help. You can tell me everything when you're here." Before Willow could answer, Buffy threw the phone back on the hook.

Spike frowned. "What the hell is wrong with you, Buffy?"

From down the stairs she answered, "Nothing that killing you wouldn't fix." He grinned, that was his Buffy. He went downstairs to get rid of the weird sensation that hit him close to this damn door. Something was inside and he was going to find out what it was.

* * *

Willow sighed heavily, this tracing spell should have showed them what was wrong. Instead the air around them flickered a little, but that was all the reaction they got. Both, Tara and her, were exhausted and disappointed.

"Nothing again?" Buffy asked, knowing the answer already.

Willow nodded, "I was so sure this was a memory spell. I can definitely feel some magic here, despite our own. But no spells." Buffy had felt terrible the moment her foot crossed the threshold. A feeling, as if she had just stepped on her own grave. And then the sadness, a loss so deep she couldn't even imagine where it came from, engulfed her and made her eyes water.

"Hey, anybody care about my theory?" Spike asked from the hallway. He had refused to enter the room.

Buffy rolled her eyes, "Yeah, sure. Enlighten us with your wisdom." Spike grinned inwardly, "Couldn't it be that the spell's gone and that's why we all feel so strange?"

Buffy chuckled humorless, "Yeah right, and pigs can fly."

Willow and Tara stared at each other wide-eyed. "I can't believe we didn't think about that."

The slayer looked puzzled. "You mean he's right?"

Willow nodded and Spike couldn't help but mutter, "As always."

"It's actually pretty easy, a powerful spell such as the memory spell leaves a trace even after it no longer works its power. That's why we feel it. Willow and I could try to restore the spell " Tara was interrupted by Buffy, who had regained her composure.

"So everything would be the same it was before?" the slayer asked.

Willow shook her head. "No, that spell is way too powerful for us, but I can tell you that SOMETHING will happen." The witch tried to smile reassuringly at her friend, but failed. They had all been feeling strange, though Buffy got it the worst. With the exception of Spike, who seemed to know more than he was telling them. Willow shuddered at the thought of owing something to Spike.

The two witches started chanting in a language Buffy had never heard. A white mist started twirling around the witches, their eyes glowing with a bright, blue light. Around them the room began to flicker in and out of reality. Images of a girl's bedroom flashed in front of Buffy's eyes. The flashes increased in speed until their change was impossible to see. An ocean of light flooded around them and exploded, leaving all of them blinded for a moment. When they regained their senses, it was no longer a storage room full of junk surrounding them. The three girls stood in the middle of a bedroom. Buffy let all of this sink in. Slowly she crossed the room to sit on the bed. This room was so familiar, she could almost feel a certain presence.

"Is everything okay in there?" Spike asked from outside. Buffy didn't even register his question.

Willow nodded slowly, staring openmouthed at her surroundings. With her usually calm voice shivering like a leave in the wind, she said, "You should look at this. He threw a quick glance through the door and froze."

"Dawn," he muttered, not registering with him or any of the others. His gaze wandered to the stack of notebooks on the table. The same feeling he had had earlier told him that there he would find the answers. Careful, as not to touch anything, he walked over to the desk and picked up the first book. He scanned the first page and stopped, his eyes widening. He swallowed hard. The girls paid him no attention; they were still mesmerized by the events that had unfolded before their very eyes. He took the stack of books, walked over to the bed and sat down right next to Buffy. She glared at him and was about to say something when he handed her the first book. "Read," was the only thing he said.

Buffy did as she was told. For some reason this whole situation had left her emotions bare, she was more vulnerable than ever. She opened the notebook carefully, her fingers reveling in the texture of the paper. She didn't want to read, knowing that it would hurt, feeling that this wasn't going to be easy. It didn't matter what she wanted, though. She knew she had to. With every word she read her expression grew darker. Willow watched her with worry in her eyes. At one point Buffy choked and tears streamed down her face. She dropped the book and just stared at it, breathing hard, crying.

Willow knelt on the floor in front of her best friend. She took Buffy's hand and looked directly in her eyes.What's wrong, Buffy?" she asked softly, giving her hand comforting strokes.

Buffy shook her head. "Nothing, it's ... nothing.

The witch looked at her intently. A girl didn't have to be psychic to know that the slayer was lying. She focused on her eyes, captivating them and muttering a spell beneath her breath. Buffy's tears dried, and her resolve shattered. "Now, tell me what's in that book that turns you into a ... a crying girl!"

Buffy's voice was hoarse and very faint when she finally said something. Everybody in the room stared, totally at a loss of words. I have a sister," Buffy's voice echoed through the dead silent bedroom.